Going Back...

so. it seems that at some point in all ended relationships, people try to go back. and, you can't. ever. go back.

trust me, i've tried!

it usually happens when i feel bad for too dismissive of the opposite sex. like, in dating situations. something will be said or done and i'm suddenly like, "oh. no. this isn't a good look."  friends of mine have Like, within an unusually short period of time I can discern whether or not someone is going to get on my everlasting nervE. And, while I may continue the dialogue for a period of time...when it ends -- and, it does end -- it usually for the very same reason that I identified in the beginning.

A New Journey?

So...I firmly believe in trying new things. Sometimes. If the risk is not too great. LOL!

Yesterday, I 'twisted' my hair for the first time. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I don't love it. I don't hate it. Today, I will twist it out and see what that looks like. It's funny how HAIR is such a THING. But, more on that another day. 

Take a look... 

http://picasaweb.google.com/str8lovanochasa/MyHair?authkey=Gv1sRgCMSpldXVzZeaJg&feat=directlink

Summer 2009...

...seems to have been plagued by death.

and, today...patrick swayze. but, it's not summer anymore.

i don't question God. it hurts though. and, i cried.

Everyone Can't be in your front row...

Everyone Can't be in your front row...

Author: Unknown

Life is a theater so invite your audiences carefully. Not everyone is healthy enough to have a FRONT ROW seat in our lives.

There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships, friendships, fellowships and family!

Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW.

Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention to: Which ones lift and which ones lean?

Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?

Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are just going downhill?

When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse?

Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know and appreciate you and the gift that lies within you?

Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW.

The more you seek quality, the more you seek things honorable, the more you seek growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the FRONT ROW and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW.

You cannot change the people around you...but you can change the people you are around!

Choose wisely the people who sit in the FRONT ROW of your life.

Remember that FRONT ROW seats are for special and deserving people and those who sit in your FRONT ROW should be chosen carefully.

Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW.

praying...

twitter is being lit up locally. folks sending out prayer requests for a young man named @hexmurda. i don't know him personally. but, i don't have to...he's a black man. a huband. a father. so, i'm praying.

facebook...

...is for suckers.

i reconnected with someone that...*sigh*...i've always 
wanted to reconnect with.
but, now? i can't stop thinking about them and...it's 
not a good look.
boooooooooooooo to facebook.

he said, she said...

he said: so, i got your email. you're an emotional rollercoaster. where did all of that come from?

she said: wow. really? i tell you ALL of that...all of the things that i am feeling and you say THAT? *sigh*

he said: yeah. because you're mad and now all of this stuff is coming up. stuff that we've already discussed.

she said: yeah...well, shame on me for not addressing these things with you previously. my bad. they still exist.

he said: i mean, your email was really long. it was like a dear john? i don't even understand what you're saying...



she said: it wasn't a dear john...we'd have to have a relationship for it to be a dear john.

he said: you know what i meant. tell me what the issue is?

she said: omg. basically? that keeping my guard up and acting like i don't care is frustrating and exhaustive.

he said: then don't. why don't you let your guard down? it's not that hard...

she said: are you kidding me? you can't possibly think the guard goes down just b/c you say it does...?

he said: yes, it does. just do it. I trust YOU...

she said: you trust me with WHAT?

he said: aggggggggh. you are so emotional. too damn sensitive.



she said: so...let me ask you this...are we dating or hanging out?

he said: hanging out.

she said: ok. thanks. just so you know, you have previously referred to it as dating...< >...

he said: oh.

she said: yeah...but, it's cool. i get it.

he said: get what? i like you. we have fun. why does it matter what the title is?

she said: the title doesn't matter -- but the behavior needs to match the intent.

he said: why? what changes when you're dating vs. hanging out?



she said: listen. hanging out is done with boys or girls. dating, for me, is done with boys. it's laced with romance.

he said: well, for me, dating includes planning for my future...so, i've never dated. not even with my past gfs.

she said: ok. got it.



he said: why does anything have to change? now that you're so ''clear''? i want to keep seeing you.

she said: yeah, well -- top billing goes to those i'm dating. i don't need to see my friends every day & every weekend.

he said: wow.

she said: yeah, i think this has been a huge miscommunication -- perhaps, i wasn't clear initially and for that? i apologize...cuz, like nene from rh of atl -- i'm good on friends!